Ahoi!

It's been several months since my last blog post, which was primarily focused on 0peration Borealis- the latest installment to my zombie/Madness tribute series. I haven't made too much progress on 0peration Borealis, as I've been busy with work, other projects, and a whole bunch of other life stuff. Things are starting to fall into place and level out a bit more, and I'm excited to fully immerse myself in 0peration Borealis. I still don't have a set release date, and I kinda hoped to have a trailer or something out by now, but I just wanted to reassure everyone that the project is not abandoned. With 0B, I'm really not trying to rush ANY aspect of it. As much as I'd like to be an animation machine, time and life circumstances haven't really allowed me to do this lately. When I made this post back in March, I absolutely could not have anticipated what a hell of a productive year it has been, and my estimate of late 2024/early-mid 2025 is unfortunately way off. Now, it's looking like it might be closer to the end of 2025.

I don't really get upset at comments and messages like this, but sometimes it does get a bit overwhelming to have people constantly asking me why the hell I haven't made a new animation, and not really being able to understand that life sometimes just doesn't allow for much free time. I don't want to sit here and go into grueling detail about having to work, eat, clean, occasionally socialize, find some time to relax, and also find time to sleep. A lot of people might read this and scoff about how "that's just life" and shit, but one of the reasons that it stresses me out is because I start to have literal withdrawal-like symptoms if I don't have SOME type of creative output for too long. Unfortunately, it's still sometimes difficult to find the time or energy to be able to sit down and create stuff, and sometimes I have to make sacrifices in order to do so. I'll also just go ahead and be fully transparent in the fact that I really don't make a lot of money from my art/animations- it's not my primary income whatsoever. I'd eventually like it to be, but I'm not exactly in a position to make any type of major job change- especially if the income wouldn't be consistent.

I've been throwing money to the side to try to potentially facilitate something like this in the future, and that opportunity might actually be coming somewhat soon. These past two months in particular have burned through a large chunk of my savings, but for good reasons. First, my cat had dental surgery. I was extremely nervous, but he did a fantastic job and seems to be doing just fine- if not even better now that he's got those rotten teeth taken out. Second, I bought my first car [*that actually runs.] Prior to that, I've been riding my bicycle, finding rides, renting cars, and occasionally taking Ubers. Buying a car actually helped out with my cat's surgery and the follow-up appointments since having to rent a car each time I needed to take him somewhere was really starting to add up, and trying to coordinate rides has been somewhat of an equal challenge.

In fact, in general, this past year has been pretty damn eventful. There was a loooooooot of mental stuff that I've been working through, and I finally got the type of treatment that would have probably been extremely beneficial many years back, but hey, better late than never I guess. I was very apprehensive towards the idea of taking any type of medication, but even with a very, very small amount, I feel like many aspects of my life have made a COMPLETE turn-around. I'm honestly still adjusting to many of these changes, as I've spent the majority of my life in a state of constant fucking depression and anxiety while just being told to "JuSt fEeL BeTtEr,,!!!@" or some other negligent/abusive bullshit. For the first time in my life, I feel like I actually kinda can just feel better. This isn't to say that my life has become completely stress-free, but I feel a lot more confident and responsive to any challenges that have arisen, and I've managed to avoid spiraling into states of poor mental health due to one reason or another. I always felt like I knew what I needed to do, and I had all of the tools, but I just couldn't figure out how to use those tools or actually apply them to my life and my goals.

For the time being, I'm still keeping my commissions closed. I've still got a few smaller projects I'm working on that I'd like to focus on before I get too crazy with 0B. Several of those projects are paintings, and one of them is my part for the upcoming sequel to the Madness Cellfication collab.

(Art by @Spazgunk)

I've got some pretty exciting ideas for my part, and it'll be a perfect opportunity for me to get more familiar with newer animation software in preparation for moving forward with 0peration Borealis. We're still not sure when this will be out, but everyone seems to be on the same vibe that we don't want to rush anything.

Madness Day was friggen EPIC this year, lots of awesome entries and I even got to hang out on Krinkels' stream for a short interview!

But yeah, I think that's it for now. I'll have some more art coming out pretty soon, and I'll also be making a more organized post for 0peration Borealis that'll be reminiscent of the old NG Magazine project alphas. Also, I'm absolutely ROCK HARD for the Silent Hill 2 Remake, and I'll be streaming the living fuck out of it for about a week straight over on Twitch.

oh also i turned 30 today wow cool oh god my hip

Ahoi everyone, 0peration Borealis has begun…

What is 0peration Borealis? 

0peration Borealis is yet another installment to my Madness Combat/Zombie series. 0peration Borealis takes place in a small, isolated village on an island near the North Pole, where a strange plague has overwhelmed the villagers, rendering many of them bedridden and delirious. Two weeks later, those that are curiously unaffected by this plague must combine their strength and work together to provide for the ill, but with no sign of improvement and resources stretched thin, the unaffected have grown weary and demoralized. With the true nature of this plague and the forces behind it shrouded in mystery, the villagers must soon face an evil more chilling than the icy winds of the arctic…

0peration Borealis will see a completely fresh art style, reflecting the work of many of my paintings over the years. No longer bound by software or hardware limitations, 0peration Borealis will ascend the plateau of what I am capable of creating far beyond anything I’ve ever done. It will be a challenge, but I am determined to see my vision come to fruition, no matter the effort or time needed to create this. I predict the animation to be around 10-15 minutes long, and as of right now, I do not have an estimated release date. It’s unlikely that it’ll be finished for Madness Day 2024, but I’d like to shoot for sometime next winter, so possibly either late 2024, or early/mid 2025. I will not be rushing this animation whatsoever, so please bear with me as I cook. I'll occasionally post screenshots here, as well as Twitter (despite the fact that I strongly dislike Twitter.)

As of right now, I've recorded over 500 sound effects including ambience, voices and zombie sounds, I've finished the storyboard, and am nearly finished with the main character sprites. I have also started learning Blender and brushing up my After Effects skills since I haven't really done too much with AE aside from some basic editing and some embarrassing lightsaber videos I edited of myself when I was like 10 years old.

I will also be participating in a few really neat things that I'm excited to share more details about when the time comes.

Commissions will remain closed until further notice. 

Until then, don't eat the red snow..

(I know I keep posting this old teaser painting I made back in 2021 but I'm not quite ready to share any screenshots quite yet, unless this very basic WIP screenshot of the northern lights that I made in Blender gets anyone's blood flowing.)

Ahoi, long time no post.

I just haven't really had all that much to say or show. I've been chipping away at commission work, as well as the occasional personal project here and there, as well as trying to stay afloat among an endless sea of chaotic, fluctuating mental health and a full-time job. It's been increasingly difficult to find motivation or stay focused on pretty much everything, and it's gotten to the point where I feel a sense of guilt if I dedicate any second of my time to anything other than the pressing deadlines I've got coming.

Therefore, I've decided that once I finish these final few commission pieces, one of which I've been working on for six years, I'm not going to be taking any commission work for a very long time. This is a very bittersweet decision, as I'd really rather be a full-time freelance artist than what I'm currently doing as a full-time job, but it's sweet in the sense that my mental health needs a fucking breather from all of this. I have an endless supply of ideas, and I'm more concerned about running out of time than running out of ideas. It hurts to not be able to work on any of this stuff without the crushing pressure of everything else.

My physical health has also taken a rapid decline, but I live in fucking America and I'm not really too far above the poverty line so it's not like I can really do anything about that. Among other issues, I suffered a concussion recently. I'm feeling better now, but something still seems off and I'm not sure how bad it is/was and I probably won't be able to find out without putting myself in medical debt for the rest of my life, so I guess I'll just die idk.

Anyway, as I said, I'm wrapping up final commission pieces, and then that's it. If anyone wants anything from me, I have over 200 completed paintings. Many of these paintings are still available for purchase, and I have prints and countless other products available on Society6 and Redbubble. Also, I technically have a Patreon, but I'm really not trying to push it too hard until I actually have things to post on there. I'm expecting it to become a bit more popular once I start animating again, which I'd like to do very soon, and is another reason I'm going to stop taking commissions. You can also buy me a coffee if you want. I also stream on Twitch, so you can follow or subscribe there if you want to see me mostly play 20 year old games on a brand new PC. Sometimes I stream art, and I will be streaming animation once that ball gets rolling again.

I think I've pretty much plugged everything here. I made a brief mention of it on the internet's porta-potty, also known as twitter, but I'll be having a few new Youtube videos coming out. One of which will be a basic update, and the other one will be a tour through my old animations, which were thought to have been lost forever. It will also include my very first Madness Combat tribute, which I didn't even attempt to submit to the portal under the assumption that it would be blammed in the blink of an eye. Very few people have seen any of these animations, and while I could just post them all, I'd kinda rather re-introduce them to the world in a Youtube video featuring commentary by my dumb ass.

Anyway that's about it.

Huzzah!! In case you missed it, the Resident Evil 2 collab premiered over the weekend. I'm super thrilled to have been a part of this project. For my two scenes, I had a ton of fun experimenting with different animation styles as well as lighting and psuedo-3D effects. Tons of talent, and I love the contrast between different animation styles. Cheers to spooky season and beyond!

In other news, I'm having a pleasant autumn so far. I'm wrapping up some paintings/projects that I've been sitting on for some time, and then I'll be focusing my efforts to a project I'm too excited to reveal at this point. Expect news on that when the snow begins to fall.

Until then, have a fabulous spooky season and autumn!

Happy Madness Day!

Sadly, nothing from me this year. Blah blah blah full-time shit job, blah blah blah shit mental health, blah blah blah.

Regardless, I'm going to be kicking back and enjoying some of the awesome submissions today, and finishing up my part for the Resident Evil 2 Reanimated Collab! I've been meaning to post some type of update, and might just do that in video form in the coming weeks. I'd really like to break out of this shitty awful self-imprisonment cycle I'm in with my day job that rips my soul to shreds, so I'm going to start taking charge and actually doing something about it.

I hope everyone has an epic Madness Day, and a glorious Autumn Equinox.

Happy New Year!

Here's a WIP of a big ol' painting I've been working on for the past few years on and off. It's still got a ways to go before it's done, but right now I'm having fun with the UV-reactive aspect of the painting. Under a blacklight, (pictured below) basically another painting is revealed. This is just a small portion of the piece, which I must stress, is a super duper work in progress.

That's all for now, cheers!

Ahoi friends,

Fair warning that this is a boring personal post that deals with subject matter I've been too paranoid to discuss openly.

For a little over a year, I've been plagued with frequent panic attacks, paranoia, night terrors/sleep paralysis, sporadic mood fluctuations, and my previously existing anxiety and depression has multiplied tenfold. I'd like to think that I've made multiple strides over the past ten years to become a better person, friend, and artist- as well as improve and understand my own mental health. Most of these efforts appeared to have been shattered as a result of a traumatic event that took place in October of 2020. As the perpetrator is known for cyber-stalking and harassment, this led me to suppress how much I share my artwork, stream, post updates, or do anything really. This was especially upsetting as I had finally started to become more active after being a ghost for so long.

I felt as if I was back in the nittiest of gritty parts of my adolescence- namely 2011. All that I had worked to accomplish was meaningless, as I was but a powerless child once again who could do nothing but endure the wrath of an alcoholic armed with a large kitchen knife as they tear through every fabric of my being. All for what? Because I chose to forgive and let this very same person back in my life, when I knew deep within my gut that leaving them was the best thing that I could have done for myself. Someone could have died that night with one mere misstep, and the slew of threats and harassment I received afterward had me an incapacitated nervous wreck, as I wasn't financially capable of moving out of my home to some place they couldn't find me at the time. I put whatever money I could towards home security rather than food. This still didn't help the paranoia, as I'd expect someone with a knife to be hiding around every corner of my home, and I'd spend many hours in dead silence, anticipating the ear-shattering static of another event. Working on art has been horrendously difficult, as with finding the courage or motivation to wake up in the first place.

The upside is that I finally managed to find a great psychiatrist. Throughout my life, I've seen several that I just haven't really been able to connect with. This one has helped me immensely in re-forming my thought process, continuing to stay away from alcohol, and I've also got a number of legal resources and a pretty great network of support. I've even managed to gain my weight back. There's still a lot of ground to be covered, but the immediate and major external issues have long since been taken care of, rendering many of their threats invalid or impossible to fulfill.

I've got a massive painting I've been chipping away at for nearly four years now that is almost ready, and afterwards, I intend to start animating again. I've got a few different animation projects I'm interested in starting/participating in, but organization and planning has never really been my forte so I'll have to summarize this with the good ol' "stay tuned!" saying. I'll also be uploading a few videos to my Youtube channel occasionally, and as my hardware allows, I'll be streaming on Twitch. I can't really say for certain if I'll have something for Madness Day this year, but it's extremely possible. I've also been experimenting with full-body art/animation styles. I assume that as with my art, I'll probably be adapting multiple different styles depending on the animation's tone and whatnot, so that'll be fun.

Anyway, I mostly just wanted to get this off my chest. I feel like there were several different ways I imagined discussing this, even writing up several different drafts, and I ended up doing literally none of those in the end. At some point I just decided that today was the day, I guess.

Alas, there is still much to be done. I'm beginning to feel somewhat like myself once again, at least. Stay safe. Stay groovy. Happy solstice, happy all-the-days, happy new year!

Also here's a small preview of another small painting i just recently finished. This is what it looks like under a blacklight.

Happy Madness Day!

Can't wait to check out all of the entries today! I don't have any animations this year, but I created a fun painting as a teaser! 'The Darkness Before Dawn' will be a mini-series focusing on the events that took place prior to Dawn of the Madness. I'm in the very early stages of development, and I'm also still writing out Night of the Living Madness, so stay tuned for updates! I've got another non-Madness animation I've been cooking up, now at the storyboard stage. It's based on a short mystery/thriller story I wrote in middle school, and yes, it involves zombies. Still keeping busy and knocking out some other projects, so stay tuned.

Cheers!

Ahoy!

Just wanted to pop in and give a brief update on some things since I kinda dipped after dropping DotM: Overtime. I'm continuously blown away by the response, and happy to see people coming back to the series after so long. A theme I'm seeing in comments/reviews is anticipation for another installment so I guess I'll just talk about that real quick. Right now, I do not have any solid plans for what is to come next. I have so many ideas for prequels and sequels at this point, as well as other episodes set in the same universe but looking at the outbreak from different angles. I've got one idea that may end up being its own spin-off series (I say series because the story itself would easily be close to an hour or possibly longer.) I still need to let these ideas marinate in my brain to see how I feel about them before deciding what to tackle next, but besides that, I still have some paintings I need to finish up.

Upon completion of DotM: Overtime, I resumed full-time hours at my day job, and almost forgot how draining it was. Our company gave us the option to take a month and a half off back in March, then I steadily cut my hours down to less than 20 a week once I came back before finally only working one day a week for the last bits of August and September. That initial time off in Spring was exactly what I needed to kickstart the completion of Overtime, but in retrospect, I could have used a few more days. I have some bills and other things I need to catch up on, as well as saving up for a potential move next year, so this is okay for now.

I made an attempt at Inktober this year, but kinda fell behind on a few days which ended up snowballing into the entire month. I had fun drawing what I did, but didn't stress too hard about it. Besides, I had a long list of video games I was itching to play once I finished Overtime. (I took a break from video games in order to focus on OT's completion.) So I played through like five Zelda games, almost the entire Silent Hill series (I played the first three at least twice in this past month,) and also good ol' Left 4 Dead 2 that recently received an epic update.

I had some extremely gnarly family shit that happened a few weeks back. I don't really want to go into detail on that one, but it successfully re-vitalized years of turmoil and abuse I was trying extremely hard to avoid thinking about as a grown adult with my own home, job, and life. Let's just say that it solidified my decision to remain sober (going on eight months!) It definitely shook my already unstable mental health, but I'm thankful for the network of support and resources those around me have been able to provide. It may have rubbed my motivation the wrong way, but just as in the past, all of this dread will be converted into units of energy for future projects and endeavors.

On the note of future projects and endeavors, I'm putting the finishing touches on a painting of a scene from Silent Hill 2, not the most exciting of my portfolio, but it means a lot to me. I've been filming and photographing progress that I intend to compile into a "making of" video. I have over four hours of footage at this point, so that should be fun combing through! No clue when the video would be out, but the painting should be finished before the end of the year. I've got another more abstract piece I'm working on, and a possible painting collaboration. I'm also planning on recording commentary tracks for Dawn, Day, Dusk, and Overtime. Overtime itself may see a slightly re-cut ending in the near future. I'm not going to George Lucas anything, but may just add in a few extra shots to smooth out the ending. There was also more I had intended to do with the credits sequence.. Stay tuned for more info on that.

I'm trying to get my Youtube account re-monetized but that's looking somewhat grim at this point. I'm really hoping I won't have to make a second channel. I've also considered making a Patreon or something along those lines as I try to transition to a means of supporting myself that is much more in-line with my passions. Does anyone have any recommendations or tips for such things?

Finally, I'll leave you with one of my Inktober drawings, a self portrait!

PS- Thanks for the birthday wishes!

As I'm sure many are aware, I finally released Dusk of the Madness: Overtime after eight long years in development!

I'm still in a state of shock after winning first place for the animation category in this years' Madness Day contest, and coupled with the overwhelming positive response, I'm absolutely thrilled. I could have never guessed that my series would be so impactful to people, and that it was a part of their childhood/adolescence just as it was mine. It's been incredible seeing people come back after so many years to leave comments, and I'm still trying to catch up on reading them!

Madness Day 2020 was absolutely epic, and there were a lot of great submissions this year! I want to extend that thanks to the Madness Community at large, and all of those awesome artists/animators/musicians keeping the blood flowing after all these years. I'm glad I was able to participate this year and spend the day viewing some of those great submissions.

It definitely feels surreal and somewhat dream-like to have finally released that big behemoth. I had a lot of fun working on it, and my brain is already firing off new ideas and things to do- which brings me to the elephant in the room, the question of "what's next?" I'm back at work now, so that's gonna be taking up a good chunk of time, but I've got a few paintings I'm going to be putting finishing touches on and uploading very soon, hopefully within this next month. Don't put a gun to my head, but I might participate in Inktober or whatever we're calling it these days. It's something I've always wanted to do but have skipped out on. Finding a groove in productivity and the discipline to see projects through by cracking down on Overtime are skills I hope to transfer to other parts of my life.

Anyway, I really enjoyed animating again, and am seriously itching to get back into it regularly. I'm juggling a few ideas around for blending traditional art and animation that I think would look absolutely sick if pulled off correctly. I don't have any specific or hard plans for moar Madness, but it seems like those ideas of prequels are something people seem interested in, so stay tuned for more info on that! I wanted to do a heavier overhaul of DotM: OT's art style, but didn't make too many changes overall as to try to keep consistent with what I had started in 2012. This may be something to look forward to in the future!

Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you all so much. I'm still reading through my comments/messages so sorry if I haven't gotten back to you directly. <3333333333